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Published online 22 August 2008 | Nature | doi:10.1038/news.2008.1050
Column: Muse
Battling bureaucracy with maths
In committees, work expands to fill the time available while growth brings inefficiency. It's worth trying to figure out why, says Philip Ball.
The European Union (EU) is notoriously bureaucratic. The reason, most observers agree, is that there are too many member states pulling in different directions to actually achieve anything.
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A nice parody on this Prince Charles Law is the tale of a recently discovered entry in the Mendeljev table of chemical elements: "administratium" http://neil.franklin.ch/Jokes_and_Fun/Administrativum ADMINISTRATIUM Investigators at a major research institution have discovered the heaviest element known to science. This startling new discovery has been tentatively named Administratium [Ad]. This new element has no protons or electrons, thus having an atomic number of zero. It does, however, have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice-neutrons and 11 assistant vice-neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons, vice-neutrons, and assistant vice-neutrons exchange places. In fact, an Administratium sample's mass will actually increase over time, since with each reorganisation some of the morons inevitably become neutrons, forming new isotopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is spontaneously formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as the "Critical Morass." Don't worry, you'll know it when you see it! G. Otte
I think this is incorrectly written: " The key is to adjust the retirement age according to the size and structure of the organization, to maximize the efficiency of it members."